While working with a teen client recently on confidence, we were discussing that even though fear doesn't feel "good" to us, it is absolutely necessary. This is a not an easy sell. In the midst of this, I discovered that Fear actually comes with an instruction manual. That's good news because the sooner we make friends with fear instead of resisting it, the sooner we can get on with what we are really trying to create.
The formula that we use for action always stems back to simply changing our thoughts about the scary thing in front of us. I use the word simple on purpose. It is simple. But boy, it sure isn't easy. And, sometimes, we can't change the thought that is wheeling around in our head when we are about to speak in front of a group or run a race or speak our truth out loud for the first time.
So, the emotion of fear is there. And the next step towards getting to our end goal is simple, but not easy. The trick is to Feel the Emotion, Act and then watch your Result manifest.
Ha! Isn't that nifty?! How cool is it that the very word, FEAR, has an instruction manual written right into it?
Feel the Emotion: Don't run from it. Feel it. What does it actually feel like inside of your body? Is it tightness in your chest, shortness of breath, a heaviness in your stomach? What does it feel like? Say hello to it. It's funny how when we do this, we realize that it is just a feeling inside of our body. It cannot do anything to us-it's just a feeling. And, you can even say thank you, because it is probably also supplying you with some adrenaline to take the next step, which is to Act.
Act: Move forward no matter what. Do what you said you were going to do. Speak, reach out, make the call. Bring the fear with you and do the deed. (By the way, Mel Robbins has an awesome trick to use right at this point. It's called the 5 second rule Literally it is to count backwards "5,4,3,2,1" and then do the deed. She has written a international best seller on this little nugget. Clearly, it works.)
And then, you get to sit back and watch the Result. And, here is some good news: even if the result doesn't look the way you wanted it to, you have just gained insight or knowledge that you didn't have before.
And, the best news, is that you have just experienced courage. And, when you are willing to feel the emotion and act anyway, the result is always a strengthened courage muscle.
And, when you have the ability to do courage, you can do anything.
Thanks, fear, we couldn't have done it without you.