Resolve to Fail (The Right Way)


Are you making a New Year's resolution? Some people are all in and others, not so much. Some are just tired of letting themselves down, others don't because they've got enough going on without the added pressure.

So, whether or not you have resolved to do anything this year, I'd like you to consider another option. and that is to resolve to fail.  Try to fail on purpose. And do it in a very specific way.  Many of us don't set resolutions (or goals) because we are afraid of failure. 

The fear of failure is really fearing the emotions that you will feel when you fail. 

There are only two ways that you can truly fail at something. You either follow through on your actions and you fail. Or you don't follow through on your actions and you fail.  Regardless of how you fail, it's not how you got to that failure, it's what you make it mean.

For example, let's say that your resolution is to lose 3 pounds over 2 weeks. You created a great eating plan and you followed through precisely for two weeks. And you only lost one pound.  That's technically a failure. You could make that mean that you are never going to lose weight, that losing weight is too hard and not worth it.  Those types of thoughts generally create anxiety or overwhelm. Or you could make the one-pound loss mean that you learned some valuable information. Now you know that you need to tweak your plan a little bit or that you need to give your body more than two weeks to get used to your new diet. . Those thoughts create curiosity and determination.  Same failure. Different feelings.

Now, let's say that you didn't actually follow through on your plan. You had dessert when you didn't plan to you drank a little more than you had planned. And you lost one pound. You could make this scenario mean that losing weight is too hard, that you can't do it, and it's not worth it. Again, anxiety, overwhelm, and overall not-good feelings.  Or, you can make the one-pound loss mean that you are going to track how often you follow through and notice when your perseverance is strongest so you can learn from it.   Or maybe you can make it mean that you realized you were stress eating more than you thought and now you can investigate that a bit. Those thoughts, again,  create intrigue and curiosity. Same failure. Different feelings.

So regardless of why you fail, whether it has to do with your plan being off or you not following through (which is an entirely different and fun subject too), you get to make that failure mean whatever you want. I say again, you get to make that failure mean whatever you want. There are lots of ways to fail. And you always get the choice to make your failures mean whatever you want. This is powerful information. Why? Because that means that the fear of failure really is about fearing the emotions that you might feel when you fail.

And since you are in charge of making failure mean whatever you want it to, that means you can make failure feel differently. It means that you can use failure on purpose to practice managing your mind. Fear is fairly noticeable, and when you feel it, THEN you can use that physical sensation as a signal to notice what you are making your failure mean. This is an amazing opportunity.

This is an opportunity that only comes when you fail.  So, resolve to fail. Pick a daring dream, set up some massive actions steps, and watch yourself fail. Watch the emotions and keep failing. The more you fail, the more information you have to get closer to your goal and more importantly, get closer to you. When you resolve to fail, all sorts of voices pop up and you really get the opportunity to hear yourself. When you expect the fear and work with it instead of against it, something pretty magical happens. The fear of failure goes from being a distant danger to a close and trusted friend. 

Check out the video for a quick 3 step process for resolving to fail on purpose!



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